NEVER THE VICTIM

 I never saw myself as the victim, never. 

. 

. 

. 

I've been thinking of which content to post for the past two weeks, not out of lack of content but because I've not had time to arrange the numerous things in my head. 

Well, I'm not about to start with my excuses, the year is too early for that. So let's just skip to the topic for the day. 

So, I'm lying on my bed and going through Instagram when I see a picture of my "almost one-night-stand".

I examine his body and it's so fine. 

Then I remember how we were friends in camp. Two boys and a girl (me). I wondered how they (the boys) must have agreed to share me in their head. Who must have decided to go first. 

You know the stories they tell us about camp na..... 

Whatever happens in camp, stays in camp. 

Married women go there to get loose. 

Guys go there for sex sprees and orgies. 

And lots more. 

But here I was, being friends with two guys who I knew wanted to sleep with me eventually. 

I was seriously curious to know how it would play out. 

Looking at his picture now, I wonder why I wasn't scared. I wasn't defensive. I never, for one day felt like the prey surrounded by wild predators (whether or not they were). 

For me, it was a thing of choice. If I really liked you and wanted to be intimate with you, I would have. If I didn't want to be with you in that manner, I wouldn't have. Irrespective of your intentions. 

Not trying to brag, but the few times people have tried to place a bet on me, they ended up falling for me and I was the one not even interested in them after all their wooing efforts. 

This doesn't cancel out the times I really liked a guy, told him and showed affection yet, he didn't like me back and he was bold enough to show it and I was honest enough to accept that he doesn't want to be with me and I left. 

The point is, I've never pictured myself as the victim. Never. 

As for the guys from camp, I eventually liked one a lot and turned down the other. The one I turned down just wanted sex and I didn't want to give. The one I liked wanted friendship, nothing more. I wanted more though and that's how the love thing didn't work out with us. 

So the nuggets for today are;

1. Stop walking around like a victim. You did what you did because you chose to. 

2. Do what you do because you choose to. 

Be clear about what you want and act accordingly. Have a mind of your own. 

If ten guys make a bet on you, make sure you fall for the one you really like and connect with or don't fall for anyone if you don't vibe with them. Let the joke be on them. Rather than bulge because of pressure. 

I think I've said enough. 

Last words. 

You are not the victim. 

Say it out loud. 

I am not the victim. 


XOXO 

Love, DeeDee




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