WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

When you want something and ask for it from the universe, the universe gives it to you alongside a distraction. The universe does this to be assured of what you truly want.

The first time I heard those words (paraphrased) were from the delectable female rap artist and poet, Eva Alordiah.

I was still ruminating on those words and trying to question the school of thought when it happened to me, two days after.

A friend who I just met and who was also my editor at the moment sent me an invite to a literary event; a book review. There were going to be a lot of amazing writers and a guest speaker who was a renowned author. It was his book that was to be reviewed. I had just moved into the city and had dedicated that period of my life to writing seriously. I wanted to meet people in my niche and interact with them, you know, you city, new friends. I wanted that fresh air and vibe for a story I was yet to complete. I had always longed to be in that kind of space. So, getting an invite from Bubu was like the universe speaking to me “my daughter, I’ve heard your thoughts, and I hereby grant your request”

Then something else happened.

Another friend who I had just met through a mutual friend asked that we hung out after several reschedules. It happened to fall on the day of the literary event.

As the magician I thought I was, I planned to attend both events and still get back home before dusk, I think it was on a Sunday or Saturday.

But guess what your girl did.

I went to church (seminar ish), then I went to see man. Instead of me to leave man and embrace this opportunity to bond with fellow writers and maybe get back home refreshed and fulfilled, I followed man and ended up dragging pant with him (don’t worry, its figuratively speaking, nobody saw or touched anybody’s pant).

I eventually got back home angry and disappointed at my decision.

Then those words came to me again.

The universe sent me my request alongside a distraction and I chose the distraction instead.

I had to question my motives afterwards. When I say I want something, do I really want it? Or is it just the feeling of “I once had this thing” that I want?

This however taught me a lesson.

It happens all the time.

People say they want jobs, then complain that the job is too stressful after they’ve got it

People say they want to be with one person forever, then end up chasing every other person that walks by

People try for years, to get into the university, then ditch class for parties and hangouts

People do all it takes to have a baby, then end up putting possessions and pursuits before the child every time

The universe knows, that’s why it tests us with distractions.

 

And trust the universe, it kept sending me things I wanted alongside distractions. And the more it did, the more I got to recognize and choose what I wanted almost every time. The times I didn’t, I was aware anyway.

This same thing happens in other scenarios.

Like when you’re single, nobody looks your way, but the moment you say YES to a well-meaning somebody, it’s like a signal goes out to all the douches that want to destroy your destiny. You keep getting DMs and calls non-stop of how you look so good and they want you. You on the other hand, if you don’t know what you want, you ignore the GIFT the universe gave you and go after the distraction. And end in premium tears.

SOLUTION: KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

When it comes to job searches and career path, know what you want for yourself.

Don’t go and subscribe to Jobberman and be applying for every job vacancy that comes up. Even those search engines have filters for their searches. Outline your career path and act accordingly.

I have been offered jobs and vacancies that I turned down because I knew it will be a waste of years that I can’t get back, all in the name of “a bird at hand….” and job security.

And the time spent chasing everything would have been better off used looking out for specifics.

Why am I sharing this?

If you don’t do any other thing for yourself, please do this.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T WANT  

Recognize distractions and treat them accordingly.

For me, I started with knowing what I didn’t want.

When people used to ask me, “What do you want in a man?”

I used to start with, “ I don’t want XYZ”

Or what kind of job are you looking out for?

“I can’t work in a bank, I can’t work as a XYZ, I don’t like companies with blablabla policies”

Now, I know what I want more than ever.

I want a man that is an epitome of Christian Grey without the weird fetishes. Lol

I want a nine to five for my first five years then I start my own consulting agency.

I want a two or three MScs and maybe one PHD

I want a black grand piano

And when I see a distraction, I treat them appropriately, unless of course I have time to spare for distractions.

You know distractions are a good waste of time sometimes.

In conclusion, the next time you ask the universe, make sure you really want what you’re asking for and make more sure that you don’t chose the distraction when the real thing comes.  

This is my two cents. What’s yours?

 Photo credit: blackchalk photography 

Love, Deedee

XOXO