Are you Jealous or Insecure?

How to overcome Jealousy and insecurity in relationship

Jealousy and insecurity are poisonous, not just to you but to the health of your relationship. It can make you depressed, agitated, moody, angry, disgusted at everything your partner does, you could become controlling and possessive, wanting to run their lives and dictate where they should/shouldn’t go and who they should/shouldn’t speak with. It could also make you read meaning to everything they say, and may as well, limit your ability to receive love from them.
Jealousy and insecurity takes away your peace of mind, you could begin to hallucinate; waste meaningful time on negative thoughts, put you in perpetual pain and turn you into something you are not.


 Take time to observe your thoughts and feelings, Jealousy and insecurity can occur in traces to a really large dose. You can also analyse your feelings to identify the root cause, at what point did you start exhibiting these traits? Is this how you've been in all your relationship, is this a pattern? Or an incidence instigated it?


 These emotions can be influenced by different factors; ranging from childhood experiences, past hurt, low self esteem, fears, selfishness etc. Just like every other emotions, jealousy and insecurity are negative emotions and can lead to negative behaviors. Exuding these vibes hinders the free flow of peace and love in your union, and as such it must be controlled.


If you find yourself continually scared of loosing your spouse, you can't stand them with the opposite sex, going out without you, you don’t believe anything they tell you; understand that your spouse is a human and has every right to relate and have friends just like you. Your fears doesn't just torment you but it also affect the well-being of your relationship. Stop feeling like you're not enough and that someone might take them from you if you allow them to interact with others. Be confident enough in your love to allow them breath, for perfect love cast out fear.


You might not be able to control how you feel but you can control your thoughts and actions. When you begin to feel these negative emotions, avoid acting it out, but instead, act like you don’t feel it, fake it till you get it, over time you will see that the right actions produces the right feelings. When you are becoming paranoid, ask yourself why you’re thinking that way. Negative emotions can make you see and hear things that doesn’t exist, hence you must guard your heart with all diligence.


Anytime you want to act negatively again, take a deep breath, drink a glass of water, hold on a little, process what you want to do, and act positively.



 You might have to slow down on motoring and checking all their messages for your peace of mind, stop wanting to know everything, who called them, why the call, what are they doing etc. You can ask healthy questions without sounding possessive. If God has bless you with a spouse, be the best you can be to them, aside from your good character and the bond you share, someone that wants to stay will stay. Love is a choice and it’s commitment, you can’t force them to give it, but your positive vibes can influence them to do the right things.



You don’t have to cage them in the name of protecting your own, it might end up choking the love. This prevents them from being and giving their best, they become scared of opening up to you and over time they might become fed up with your attitude, you could also attract your fears or even scare your loved ones away from you. Convert those negative energies into getting a life, find purpose, make impact. Rather than lording over your spouse, be their friend that truly care not working as a monitoring spirit. Bear in mind that until marriage anyone is losable, this will assist your peace of mind and enable you to love sincerely and make your presence count in their lives, your fears won’t give you happiness but will rather make you to become toxic.



Stop trying to read the mind of your loved ones, or imagine what they are thinking, take them by their words, learning to trust your spouse makes it easy to feel more secure. Note that you might not be able to change whatever negative experience you had in the past but you are totally responsible for how you react towards it now. Do not punish your present spouse because of the mistake of those who hurt you in the past. Many have lost good partners because of this, exhibiting negative behavior because they don’t want to get hurt again. Let the past remain in the past, forgive yourself and move on, also forgive your partners if they’ve offended you, not forgiving them will make you to always feel insecure.


Learn how to communicate your point without harassing your spouse. If anything bothers you, instead of throwing words at them, it's best to discuss about it with your spouse in a way that you don't sound judgemental and critical. A soft answer turns away wrath. You could also speak with friends that are concerned about your wellbeing, If you’re surrounded with positive vibes you will exhibit less negative energy. Be intentional about your actions and associations .


Build up yourself esteem, read good books, do the things you’ve always wanted to do, learn a skill, distract yourself, don’t try to be like someone else. Give yourself to consistent growth and become a person of value that will always contribute to the progress of the relationship. Replace those thought of not being good enough with healthy thoughts, develop yourself, the largest room is the room for improvement and know that you are unique, God made you special, be thankful.



You need to find peace within yourself as a person before you can extend or receive peace, and you can only find peace in Christ.



Prayers can silence negative emotions, the more you pray and fill your heart with the word, the more relaxed, peaceful, joyful and confident you are. There's this peace and Joy in the Holy Ghost that keep off negative emotions from gaining entrance into your spirit. Make it a constant prayer that you will obey the spirit of God over your emotions for those that are led by the spirit are not insecure,


Is there someone that's saying today; I give up my emotions for the spirit to have a perfect work in me…


 I pray for you that you are anxious over nothing. Peace overflows from your heart and fill up everything that concerns you, receive soundness of mind now, in Jesus name,
Amen

I’m rooting for a new you
Cheers!!!
©Gilgal Umia